It’s been a weird week. I’ve felt pretty numb for most of it mainly because I’ve been sick with a bad cold/flu that just won’t shift. It’s been pointed out to me that since I had such a massive hit of steroids (which I have now finished), that my immune system has likely been greatly compromised which is probably why it’s hitting me harder than normal. Coughing so hard you produce blood isn’t my idea of fun that’s for sure!
So what have I been grateful for this week?
– My bed. I had a day off on Saturday and despite the good weather, slept for most it because I felt so ill. I put on a movie and fell asleep within minutes, only waking up at the end credits.
– Although it’s been cold, the sun has been out quite often which always makes you feel a little warmer on the outside and inside.
– Making chocolate brownies.
– Not having to cook dinner in the evening.
– Going for walks in the sun.
– Discovering that the Commander General of NATO follows me on Twitter!
– But mostly I’ve been grateful for the ability to write with one article in particular that I was very proud of. It was possibly the most honest (and potentially controversial) piece I’ve ever written and you can read it here.
– I’m now halfway through my placement at the butter factory with only another 7 weeks to go before I head back to Sydney and I’m grateful that I’m working on my dreams whilst my mind allows me to.
This week sums up the end of the #100happydays project and I’ll admit that it’s been a challenge in more ways than I expected. I quickly stopped taking photos because I realised that not everything can or needs to be visual. I’m proud that I’ve kept it going for so long and have committed to a new update every week on how I have been doing but mostly I’ve been proud that I stuck to my word.
When I first began this challenge, I stated that I believed it was more about being grateful than finding things to be happy about because, when you suffer with squiffy brain chemistry (aka depression), it can be extremely hard to force yourself to be or act happy and I didn’t need that kind of pressure. Finding things to be grateful for felt (and turned out to be) far more achievable. There were, of course, difficult times when I struggled to find things to be grateful for and a couple of weeks ago, despite having written a regular post, I found that I couldn’t post about being grateful when I felt so dark so instead I wrote honestly; something else to be grateful for.
Since that article and the one I published yesterday, I realise now more than ever that it’s important I continue to try and be brave and write as honestly as my mind will allow me to, not just for myself but because others need it too. I almost didn’t publish my article yesterday for fear it was too controversial but after discussing it with good friends, they urged me to ‘show it to the world’ and it’s made me more grateful than ever that I have such a strong group of supportive and understanding friends in my life.