#100happydays Project Week 17

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LogoJPGThere’ll be no introduction or thoughts to my #100happydays list this week but there is an afterthought…

– I went to Melbourne for a couple of nights and it was GREAT. The journey down by train (my first train ride here) was absolutely gorgeous – the sun was out, the grass was green and the sky was blue; it was just what I needed!

– On that one train journey of 3.5 hours I wrote 4 (!!!!!) articles such was my inspiration. Every time I started to write another article, another idea would come into my head like a domino effect and I loved it!

Friday, on that train journey, felt like a fantastic day. Coldplay were in my ears, I was full of inspiration and self-belief in this site and I was looking forward to catching up with friends.

– Spending time with friends who are similar to me. That might sound selfish but have you ever considered how much hard work it is to spend a lot of time with someone who is completely different to you to the point it’s uncomfortable? There is nothing better for the soul than flowing conversation, giggles and life discussions.

– Gorgeous sunny and warm weather whilst in the city and having one of my friends take me to the beach because she knows how much I miss it!

Having great meals, milkshakes and cakes with three different friends that I spent time with in the city.

– On the Friday night, my nails were painted, I was wearing gorgeous jewellery, I had done my make-up really nicely, my hair looked great, I was wearing my new jacket and you know what? I felt like a million bucks and I haven’t felt that way for a long time!

– Managing another week of walking 36km.

– That I survived Winter and it’s now Spring!!!!

Being taken out to dinner by my host family to a gorgeous brewery also famed for their pizzas which were so delicious!

And then Monday happened.
On Monday, for reasons I don’t yet feel brave enough to discuss, my mood was so dark I could barely move and spent the day in bed unable to do anything but sleep and watch movies. The Universe had already sent me a sign (of negativity) on Saturday morning when I woke up to an email I wish I hadn’t opened but I was enjoying the city with friends so I was distracted. By Monday, another Universal sign came my way only this time it felt as though it was sat on my chest weighing me down.

I wondered what the point of any of it was if my life was going to be nothing but episodes of depression and now anxiety (thanks to my breakdown). I didn’t feel brave enough to continue and felt inconsolable. I fell asleep at 8.30pm that night such was my emotional exhaustion and need to have the day end.

It’s Thursday now and I’m pleased to say that I feel a little lighter. I’m not going to lie to make you feel comfortable and say that I am much better because I’m not but I’m numb and I’m grateful for that lack of emotion right now.

But you know what else I’m grateful for? On that Monday being able to reach out to friends who I knew could and would be there for me. That I have friends who will listen to me with nothing but understanding and lack of judgement. That they will listen to my rants and outpourings without rolling their eyes or ignoring me and I am incredibly grateful for that!

– Having a good friend send me a gift that she had made just for me. A beautiful crystal on a turquoise (one of my favourite colours) cord and she made it for no other reason than we’re friends.

– Receiving some lovely feedback about my Facebook page for this website.

– Despite feeling awful on Wednesday I somehow had a very productive day! I am currently in the process of redesigning and changing my travel site and on that day I had my new logo designed, created three new pages, amended two more and created some images for the website too. I felt very proud of myself for that one!

So weirdly, despite the absolute bottom falling out of my mood on Monday and still struggling a little even now, I’m going to say that it’s been an incredibly good week both for being grateful and for positive things happening!  Let the good times continue!

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2 Comments
  • Priya

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    I’m glad you’re jotting down your ideas. This is something I need to do more. Once an idea pops in my head, I need to write it down. I usually say I’ll do it later then forget about….
    Priya recently posted…5 Highlights Of My Solo Day Trip To ManlyMy Profile

    • Toni

      Priya – I’ve forgotten to do it so many times and got really frustrated with myself so I learn my lesson 🙂

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