It’s ok to be sad when it’s sunny

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LogoJPGThe Indian Summer of life should be a little sunny and a little sad, like the season, and infinite in wealth and depth of tone but never hustled – Henry Adams

It’s ok to be sad when it’s literally sunny outside.

It’s ok to be sad when everything appears to be sunny in your life.

Have you noticed in that in recent times, no one allows you to be sad anymore? That the second you voice a negative opinion about something in your life or life in general that people will immediately turn around and tell you that ‘it’s meant to be’ or try and tell you that your feelings won’t last? And whilst those things are usually said with love by friends and family, I want to scream because it’s ok to be sad when it’s sunny.

Sadness, I fear, is so often confused in this generation with depression and mental health issues instead of being accepted for what it is; an emotion, and a potentially hauntingly beautiful one at that, and there is nothing wrong with feeling emotions.

Without sadness, we would not have compassion in the world.

Without sadness, influential thoughts may not have affected generations.

Without sadness, we could not appreciate happiness.

No one chooses to be sad but neither should we ignore it or try and rush past it without acknowledgement. Sadness can bring great things; contemplation, a rest, realisation; it’s an emotion that can teach us so much if we just allow ourselves to feel it instead of ignoring it.

People equate sadness with weakness when nothing could be further from the truth; it’s an emotion we should feel, not a personality defect we should use to attack ourselves with. Being sad doesn’t mean we are depressed or that we’ll never be happy again; it means we are human and that we feel a vast spectrum of emotion. We allow ourselves to be angry, hateful, deceitful and stressed; all horribly negative and detrimental to our mental and physical health and yet, sadness is seen as an emotion we are not allowed to experience, an emotion to be ignored, used for self-loathing and feared when nothing could be further from the truth.

Within sadness comes some of our deepest, most raw feelings and yet we choose to ignore them. We choose to ignore the meaningful questions that sadness asks us to answer. It’s not comfortable and no one likes to be sad but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t serve a purpose; a great many things can be learnt from the silent tears that roll down our cheeks when we think no one is watching.

Many of us feel guilt for being sad. We have nice things, a family and friends and a whole host of other positive chapters in our lives and in that veinΒ therefore, we don’t believe that we ‘deserve’ to be sad. We have ‘more than others’ and should be grateful which, in principle, I agree with but it’s all relative. If you need to be sad because you’re tired and the bills are mounting up, you’ve split with your partner or you just had an exhausting day at work, stop ignoring your feelings and allow yourself to be sad. It will hurt but it won’t kill you and it will pass.

I hate being sad; truly but you know what one good thing comes from my sadness? I write some of my most painfully honest articles when I’m sad. It allows me an introspective view to my life and myself and whilst I don’t welcome sadness, I’m grateful for it because without it, I would not have learnt lessons in life and I would not have these words to share with you.

Β It’s ok to be sad when it’s sunny. It doesn’t make you a rain cloud, it makes you a rainbow – Reclaiming Your Future

2 Comments
  • Emma

    Reply

    I love this so much darling! It’s so true. Sometimes we don’t need to be fixed by everyone around us. Don’t try to fix me, let me be! Spectacular mopes all round! πŸ˜‰ xxxxx
    Emma recently posted…Win A Free Game At Cluequest LondonMy Profile

    • Toni

      Emma – you summed it up perfectly; we don’t need to be fixed all the time, we just need to feel what we need to and move on in our own time πŸ™‚ I’ll join you in the mopes πŸ˜‰ xx

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